Double Standards

You know what gets me about relationships, if one person is allowed or not allowed to do something, should the other person be held to the same standard?

Getting a job is a vicious cycle.  Employers are less likely to hire you if you don’t have work experience but how are you supposed to get experience if you can’t get a job?

Lo and Behold my sister to the rescue again.  I’ve had no luck finding a job for about a month now.  I submitted my unimpressive resume to many firms looking for paid interns as well as various high end restaurants.  One morning, as I was signing on to my Zotters account to look if there were any replies from any companies (which there weren’t), my sister calls and tells me that there is an opening at the law firm she used to work at.  IRO_NIC!      Thanks Chay!

I recently started working as a legal assistant at a Law Office for Ms. Vivian McPayah-Obiamalu.  She is one of the most intimidating people I have ever met.  This Nigerian lady is about 6 feet tall, 200 lbs, and her voice can probably reach an octave lower than mine.   This job will be such a good experience for me, the boy who sits at home all day playing computer games.  When I first walked in she asked me about myself and my skills.  She asked what my computer skills were and I almost said that I'm pro at DotA.  She has a reputation of being really mean and hard to work for which is a good thing in terms of getting experience.  I’m being thrown in the deep end, which means anything I encounter that is shallower I can handle with relative ease. 

Every expert was once a beginner

I love the movie “Coach Carter.” It makes me want to cry.  Not tears of sadness but rather tears of happiness and extreme emotion.  I think that’s one of the only movies that have ever given me that feeling.  The part when Coach Carter loses the case for his lock down.  The part after that scene really gets me.  I’m just a big baby.

I noticed that people that I really get along with and can have deep philosophical conversations with are those who are good listeners.  When someone is a good listener, I am a good listener towards them.  One example is my former roommate David.  There would be times when we would both lie in the dark and talk for hours about philosophical subjects such as our roles in life and what we can do to make ourselves ultimately happy.  Other subjects we always circled around are how we pass judgement too much on others and its effect on society.  Most of our talks however took place during our times of exercise.  We would go running and we would make it a habit to always have good conversation while we ran.  That way we wouldn’t be wasting the time we had and at the same time we would be getting a better work out.  Good Times.  Fall Quarter is coming.

High Risk High Reward

I just recently got back from a trip to Las Vegas.  I noticed that the casinos are designed for two kinds of people; Those who are just there to have fun and not risk too much money and the high rollers.   There are a bunch of 1, 5 and 25 cent machines for the first kinds of people and there are the tables and the 1, 5 and 10 dollar machines for the high rollers.  I always imagine myself as a person who would stay on the lower roller machines I just recently realized with the help of my best friend that I’m more of a high risk high reward type of guy.

I was asked today to do a video biography for a school project.  It got me thinking about who I would do a video biography on.  The person that came to mind was my father.  I realized that all my dad ever does is help people.  Everyday he goes to work so that he can enrich the lives of his family.  Because of his hard work my sister and I can go to college w/o having to take out loans or work long hours.  When he gets home (which is 9pm every night) he tediously makes kefir (a probiotic beverage that he believes helps the body stay healthy).  He then distributes the kefir to people that need it or ask for it.  Day and night my father is helping people.  He embodies selflessness.

"The grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for."

I just applied for a job today with my good friend Lee.  We had a good time going around getting interviewed. There are certain people that you just click with and can talk to very easily. Lee is one of those people.  Once I have a job I will have all of the grand essentials of life.  I’ll have something to do, I have plenty of things to love, and I have my goals to hope for.

Get rich or die trying… (what a retarded statement)

Family

This weekend my parents and I are at UC Davis helping my sister move in to her apartment.  It’s times like this when I realize how lucky I am to have such a closely knit family who would go out of their way to make sure that another family member is comfortable.  My parents left their business for 4 days so that they could be here to help my sister buy all the essentials for her apartment and make sure everything is in order for a comfortable living place.  I spent the entire afternoon happily assembling all of my sister’s furniture.  For some families these gestures may be strange, but for ours we wouldn’t have it any other way. 

The drive to Davis took 7 hours.  I was driving while deep in conversation with my sister the whole trip and I was reminded of how similar our brains work.  It’s actually really amazing how two people’s thought processes can be so similar.  We would both break out in to song at the exact same time because we both felt that the surroundings called for a song.  Or we would both see something and both have the same thought.  One person would then say what we were both thinking and we would share a “I was just thinking that” moment.  It happened about 5 times throughout the car ride.  Great minds think alike.

When something you love in your life suddenly vanishes you think to yourself that you should not have taken it for granted.  You should have enjoyed every moment of that thing while you had it and you only realize this now that it is gone.  I think everyone takes things for granted and it is unavoidable.  When things are redundant and always available to you, you prefer to do other things that at the time are not so available.  It’s like the saying “fish and visitors begin to stink in 3 days”.  The situation is not exactly this however it’s the idea that everything needs to be taken in moderation.  This is the reason that people always feel that they have taken the things they love for granted.  Now that the loved thing is gone, you wish it was back and you wish you could go back into time and enjoy every moment with it. This feeling is not a result of taking that thing for granted but rather because distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Sometimes separation is a good thing.  I’ve seen so many instances where roommates in college who were once best friends in high school grew to hate each other once they lived together.  I’ve seen many couples who insist on spending every waking moment with each other grow sick of one another.  I have these great relationships with certain people who I just realized I only see once a week or even only a couple times a year.  To me, these are the healthiest of relationships because the time you do spend with these people are meaningful and special rather than redundant.

Often when I think about my goals I get very discouraged.  One of my main goals, though very cliché, is becoming very rich and having a fulfilling life.  I often hear things like “if you put your mind to something, you can achieve it” or just other quotes that simply mean “don’t give up” or “try your best”.  Though such quotes do sometimes inspire, they also discourage.  Not giving up is such a vague concept and trying your best often isn’t enough to achieve your goals.  Often it is very hard for me to keep my eye on the prize and make sure everything I do goes into becoming a better person.  I think the more appropriate concept to think about when feeling discouraged is not “don’t give up” or “try your best”, but rather that“a journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”.   It is the little things that you continuously work at such as being organized, doing your homework correctly, and treating everybody with respect that will lead you to achieve your goals. 

My way is the right way.  If I ever tell you to do something the right way, what I mean is do it my way.  Don’t argue.  – I just realized I get this mind set from my father.

Independence

Refresh

When I was at UCI, my roommate and I often discussed what state of mind we were in.  There are three categories: Normal, Dirty, and Refresh.  As you are living your life, things always regress.  Things such as you room getting dirtier, personal hygiene, contact with friends, how much you go to class, how well you do your homework or just how happy you are in general.  This regression is when someone goes from a normal state to their dirty state.  Once you are in your dirty state, an event occurs that leads to a refresh stage.  A refresh can arise from many different things such as a new quarter/semester of school starting, a talk you had with you parents about responsibility, or an inspiration that enters you life.  The refresh stage will cause you to fix the problems that caused you to enter your dirty stage.  Once all is fixed, all will regress again eventually and the cycle starts again.  I really need to refresh.

My sister is leaving for law school in a couple of days.  That should be the ultimate refresh. 

If hypothetically, two boys are born at the same time, in the same room, and are raised the same way, and in the same environment, will one boy be more talented than the other?  Are some people just born with more skills at certain things than other people?  Or is everyone born with an equal slate, and depending on how hard you work at a particular thing decides how skillful you are at it.

It’s nice to be alone sometimes.  You have time to think. 

A friend of mine who I haven’t seen in a long time just recently came to visit me.  My memory of him was a quiet, slightly awkward, shy, not very outgoing, and not very physically fit person.  When I saw him this visit the first thing I noticed is that he lost a lot of weight.  The second thing I noticed is that his personality completely changed.  He was very outgoing, funny, and just a pleasure to be around.   Confidence is key.